No Jokes Today

Today I took an old friend to a place near where I work to help him get an engagement ring. Before you start asking dopey ass questions I will explain, I work in the diamond business and I have a few connections near where I work (the Diamond District in Manhattan) so that is why I took him. I must say that it was a bit bitter-sweet. As I wrote in a previous post I am recently divorced so as I was looking at diamonds and settings for them I was feeling an unprecedented surge if emotions. I found myself dealing with a lot of memories... seven years of memories infact and I found myself stuck in a cold sweat.
Now a lot has happened in the past few months with me and the one constant I maintained was the acceptance of my situation but today I put on my best face and acted my ass of because after all was said and done, I was sad. Its hard to realize that my life is now nothing I ever expected it to be even seven months ago and I will admit that acceptance of this new "life" I have is without a shadow of a doubt the hardest obstacle I have ever had to overcome. I now realize that this road to recovery may be a lifetime journey- one filled with regret and loss. I will not waste time saying that everything is peachy but I will say that I AM doing better but I still have to live the rest of my life knowing that I (not anyone else!!!) lost the best part of my soul, I had the dream but somehow managed to screw it up and including many other aspects of my life I created one hell of a mess.
To my friend from today, pay no mind to ramblings, I know you're reading this but that is not why I am writing and if we had to do it again tomorrow, I'd do it all over again for you.... I am really happy for you and want to help you man. Also I know my approval might not mean squat but she is a really cool chick and I am honored to help the two of you guys out. As for me being sad, pay no mind.. I'll get over it and as I sit here literally teary eyed I understand that my eyes will dry and my life will go on.
No matter how much I hate this unfortunate curveball life has thrown me, I know I am not the only person in this world to get divorced and that I am not alone and that is and odd sort of comfort.
Marriage is a great institution and I whole-heartedly salute you married people who might be reading this and I definately don't want any of you to think I am sour about MY mistakes or marriage in general.